1955-2011

He created my world.

I need to say something, but I don’t know what to say. I got on Usenet on an Apple IIe. I saw the Cambridge coffee pot on a pizza-box Performa. I learned HTML by hand on a Grape iMac when the Web was new. My iPhone is my life – I take credit cards, use bookkeeping software, invoice clients, have access to all my information, take pictures, buy anything from books to sweaters, check my bank balance, find out when the next bus is coming and where the nearest coffee shop is, study for the CPA exam, play Fruit Ninja, listen to music, and communicate with the world, all on a device that fits in my hand.

The man who gave me the ability to do the most awesome and fun things in my life is gone.

I am just going to share some quotes, some from the Internet, and some from Steve Jobs himself.

@god_damn_batman: The genius we didn’t deserve, but the one we needed. Farewell, Steve Jobs.

@wilwWil Wheaton
iRIP, Steve Jobs. Thank you for making incredible things, so we can live in the future.

@adamsbaldwin: If the pen is mightier than the sword, then Steve Jobs created immeasurable peace with the strength of a Titan.

@brookrbrook riggio
Steve Jobs’ legacy will never be quantified. His work gives so many creators the tools, happiness, & power to bring their creations to life.

@davidhoangDavid Hoang
My hero + inspiration has died + I am in tears at a coffee shop. My heart is broken.

 
Eternal Flame (xkcd’s tribute)

 
If there is a heaven, the pearly gates no doubt open with a certain startup chime. Sleep well and thank you.
posted by Brandon Blatcher

There is a thing going around twitter: “Maybe the 4S stands ‘for Steve?’”
Even if it didn’t before, it does now.
posted by anastasiav

Right now, there’s a mob in New York City screaming for the heads of approximately 499 Fortune 500 CEOs on a pike. #500 is immensely profitable, and has more cash on hand than most banks (only 10 have more); and people are laying flowers at the front of their stores in mourning for their CEO.
posted by schmod

This morning my seven year old daughter asked why I was so sad, and I told her that a famous American inventor had died. She asked if she knew any of his inventions.
“Well that computer you play Minecraft on, he invented that. And the iPod nana gave you for your birthday, he invented that. And the iPad you use at school, that’s also his work. Oh and he was in charge of Pixar, so he helped create Toy Story and Cars and Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc. and Wall-E and and Ratatouille and The Incredibles and Up.”
“So he invented things for children?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
“Does he have kids?”
“Yes, he did.”
“I guess his inventions show how much he loved them.”
“I guess so.”
posted by Toekneesan

 
This existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds.

To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at the movements of a dance.
A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky,
rushing by, like a torrent down a steep mountain.

–Gautama Buddha
posted by jcworth

I think Jobs deserves to share the epitaph of Sir Christopher Wren:

Si monumentum requiris, circumspice.

posted by benito.strauss

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”

“It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.”

“We think the Mac will sell zillions, but we didn’t build the Mac for anybody else. We built it for ourselves. We were the group of people who were going to judge whether it was great or not. We weren’t going to go out and do market research. We just wanted to build the best thing we could build.

“Creativity is just connecting things.”

“Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.”

“Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple.”

“The day I was born songs were on records, phones were tied down, computers needed rooms and the web was fiction. Change the world. You can.”

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: ‘If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.’ It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Over the course of tax season, it seems like I went to every caffeine-dispensing venue in Seattle, so I thought I’d share my travels.

Ballard Sip & Ship – My office away from home, with business services including package mailing and delivery, notary, shredding, printing and a copier/fax machine.  Also cool notecards and chocolate chip cookies. Power outlets in the loft seating area. A few parking spaces behind the store. (Ballard)

Aster Coffee – Also in Ballard, but stays open until 10 pm and has beer! They have one of the few Clover coffee machines not in a Starbucks, and yummy waffles. There are power outlets cleverly placed under the bench seating by the wall and free password-protected wifi. Street parking is fine. (Ballard)

Mosaic Coffee House - Lots of seating, and a meeting room you can reserve for events. No fixed prices for the food and drinks – it’s pay what you will. Free wifi & lots of outlets, parking in the lot behind Dick’s . (Wallingford)

Cupcake Royale – Right on Market St next to the Majestic Bay theatre. They have cupcakes! What more could you ask? They also have power outlets under the benches against the wall, and free wifi with signup. Also t-shirts that say “Legalize Frostitution” . (Ballard)

Fresh Flours – A bit crowded, but I was there on a weekend morning. The coffee was good and the pastries looked tasty. (Ballard)

Miro –  Tea instead of coffee. Vast array of teas, and the tea comes with a warmer underneath, and a timer to tell you when to pour it. They also have fancy crepes but I didn’t try them. Nice space with lots of tables and wifi. You’ll probably have to walk a few blocks for street parking. (Ballard)

Makeda -  Small but welcoming, great coffee and nice staff. Wifi and outlets, street parking readily available. (Phinney)

Chocolati Café – Bigger than it looks from the outside, with more seating in the back. The European hot chocolate was killer. Street parking. (Greenwood)

Neptune – Another evening option with beer as well as coffee, and Jarritos sodas too. They have fun trivia nights, and a blend of coffee named after Hyperbole and a Half’s Allie.  Street parking nearby. (Greenwood)

Holy Grounds – In a strip mall, but nice and uncrowded. The coffee was fine. They don’t seem to have a website – is that legal? (Crown Hill)

Caffé Ladro – Only in Seattle is  “the Queen Anne Caffe Ladro” not a specific enough meeting place.  I was waiting at the lower one by the Seattle Center, while my client was waiting at the upper one at the top of the hill. We eventually figured it out ; ) Both are on the small side and popular enough that getting a table is not a given. The upper one has better street parking. (upper and lower Queen Anne)

Teacup – Lovely big sunny airy space, lots of tables. The tea was quite nice. There’s an incredible chocolate place down the street;  no seating, but the most amazing chocolates – like the Platonic ideal of ultimate chocolateness. (Queen Anne)

Victrola Coffee – Funky space with an actual coffee roaster on the premises. Smells wonderful, and the coffee was delicious. Parking is horrible – I had difficulty finding a space even in a pay lot, on a weekday morning. (Capitol Hill)

Roy Street Coffee – Huge with tons of tables. This is apparently a variant of Starbucks with a more independent coffee shop look. Street parking difficult but achievable. (Capitol Hill)

Herkimer – Nice little place near Cowen Park. Cash only, but when I didn’t have cash the kind barista gave me my coffee anyway and told me to pay later. (I did return and pay the next week.)  Street parking is fine.  (University District)

Peet’s – Right at the corner of the Center of the Universe. Has two levels but still was pretty crowded. I believe you can park in the PCC lot since it’s a neighboring business. If you’re there at lunchtime Baguette Box is next door. (Fremont)

Zoka – Really nice place, chill ambience, great coffee. It looked like many folks use this as their co-working space – MacBooks galore. Street parking is fine. (Greenlake)

Third Place / Honey Bear Lake Forest Park Towne Centre –Lots of tables, food court ambience and privacy levels. About as far north as I’m willing to drive, so a good in-between place to meet clients from Bothell and beyond. (Lake Forest Park)

Starbucks – lots and lots of Starbucks. The only one rating a special mention is the Madison Park Starbucks, since it’s conveniently located to meet people from the Eastside. Quite large and reputedly the home Starbucks of Howard Schultz, so everything should be the newest and best. The small parking lot is usually full but street parking was easy.

*If I don’t mention wifi, that doesn’t mean they don’t have it, just that I had no need to check it out while I was there and don’t remember.

Honorable mention to the late great Wayward Coffeehouse -How can you not love a place that serves drinks like Minbari Mocha and Kobiyashi Maru? It had the Serenity emblem and was the home of the Seattle Browncoats. Victim of a fire, there’s a Phoenix Fund to raise money so they can “keep flyin’”.

Matt at LeanFounder.com has developed a map of places where it is fun to grab a cup of coffee (or a beer, or a lunch) with other founders and tech people.

The Home Office

Posted by Bruce Mc on Mar 22, 2011

Guest post by Mariette Knoblauch of Ballard Beancounters

In the economic chaos of the past few years, many people have turned to self-employment. If you have a home-based business, you may very well have a home office, and a convenient deduction on your federal income taxes.

What makes a home office deductible? …….

Go read the rest on Bruce’s website  here.

Your tax status depends on how many people are in the LLC, and whether or not you have also incorporated. LLC stands for “limited liability company” – not corporation. If you want to be a corporation, you need to file Articles of Incorporation as well as filing for an LLC. These two things are often done at the same time, but they don’t have to be. (And if you do incorporate, for the love of Matlock get your Articles of Incorporation drawn up by a real lawyer who specializes in your type of business. Please don’t download some $50 form off of the Internet. Just don’t ; )

If you haven’t incorporated, and there’s only one member (or a married couple) in your LLC, it is treated as a sole proprietorship, and you will file your business taxes using Schedule C on your individual 1040 tax return.

If there is more than one member of your LLC, it will be treated as a general partnership, and you will need a 1065 partnership return. This comes as a great surprise to many people, who had the impression they could go into business together and each stay a sole proprietor. That’s not how it works. Like common-law marriage, you can become a partnership just by going into business with someone, no paperwork required. And like common-law marriage, somebody could end up losing a trailer ; ). It is well worth the lawyer’s fee to get a partnership agreement drawn up properly that does what you want it to do, rather than having to live with the default provisions in the law.

If you did incorporate, you may choose to be treated as a C corporation or an S corporation. A C corporation is what most people think of when they think “corporation”, like Starbucks or Cheezburger, Inc. C corporations have what is called “double taxation”. The income of the corporation is taxed on a form 1120 corporate tax return, and the dividends the owners receive are also taxed on their individual 1040s.

A S corporation has what is called “pass-through” or single taxation. The income is not taxed on the corporate 1120S tax return, but “passes through” to be taxed on the owners’ individual 1040s. You can elect to be taxed as an S corporation rather than a C corporation by filing Form 2553 with the IRS, as long as your corporation meets the criteria.

An LLC can be any of these business types. So have patience if your honest question “What kind of tax return do I file? I have an LLC.” results in a lot of questions for you, instead of a quick simple answer.

My Square reader on my iPhone

Merchant services take note! Jack Dorsey, one of the guys who thought up Twitter, has come up with a cool new way to take credit and debit cards anywhere there’s phone coverage.  Square is a tiny swiping device (about the size of a sugar cube) that plugs into the headphone jack of your iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch or Android phone.

It’s super easy to sign up for. Download the free Square app, enter your name, address, email, SSN, and the bank account number you want the transactions to go to, attach a photo, and that’s it. This is in startling contrast to the application process for a traditional merchant service, which can rival getting a security clearance for the Pentagon in time-consuming complexity.  Then they send you the little reader in the mail, for free!

Lots of other things are free, too. No equipment charges, no setup fee, no gateway fee, no monthly fee, just 15 cents per transaction, and 2.75% for card present, and 3.5% for card not present. The keyed-in transaction option is only for if the swiper doesn’t work – Square is designed to be used for transactions between people in real life meatspace. This pricing structure makes it affordable for occasional use. You don’t pay anything for having the service available – only when you actually run a transaction.

This opens up all kinds of possibilities for casual card use at garage sales, charity fundraisers, school book sales, and Tupperware parties (is that too old-fashioned? Romance parties then ; ).  But the real game-changer is going to be the way it makes taking plastic affordable for freelancers, contractors, street food vendors and coffee stands, artists who sell at festivals, musicians who sell CDs at concerts, farmers’ market vendors and all those independent small businesses who can’t afford a traditional merchant account.

So how is Square making money on this? What’s their business model? Jack Dorsey has come up with an elegantly simple way to prequalify users without the traditional credit check. They do an immediate check of your social media history.  From Bruce Upbin’s blog on Forbes.com:

“When merchants apply for credit, Square looks at their social footprint: Facebook fans, friends and wall activity, Twitter followers and retweets, blog activity, Yelp reviews and photos on Flickr and Google Street View. “Getting 100 Twitter followers is not a trivial exercise,” says Square COO Keith Rabois, “You must exist to do that.” Square tested its method this summer on 50,000 merchants. The group’s chargeback rate (the proportion of all transactions that are disputed and require refunds) was below 0.05%. That’s good; anything below 1% spares the merchant from fees. Square regressed instances of fraud among its users against traditional credit checks and found the old-school method to be no more accurate in predicting fraud. Credit checks may overly punish the innocent, too. More than 30% of the well-behaved applicants approved by Square would have been denied a traditional merchant account. “

I have never had a traditional merchant service account, because my business is seasonal, and it wasn’t worth it to me to pay fees all year round. But people don’t always have checks with them, especially if I’m setting up QuickBooks on their laptop in a coffee shop. I love the instant gratification of being able to generate and email an invoice on my iPhone, and immediately receive payment then and there.

So far it has worked great. Swiping’s a little tricky – you have to swipe very quickly and hold the card reader steady with the slot parallel to the phone – but I got the hang of it. (I have a first generation reader. The new ones are supposed to be less finicky.) The money has shown up in my bank account the next day. They deposit the net amount after fees, instead of waiting till the end of the month to take their fees out.

It generates a nice emailed receipt, with the option of adding a picture of the item sold. I haven’t used this feature yet, as tax returns tend to look boringly alike. You can also do a receipt for cash transactions by typing the information in. The seller’s copy of the receipt only shows the first few characters of the buyer’s email, which is a thoughtful way of preventing spam. Nothing is stored on the seller’s phone, either. The information is encrypted and transmitted to Square without ever being on the phone itself, so no worries about PCI compliance or security.

I see this as being a great opportunity for small businesses. If you don’t need a POS cash register, you could take payments anywhere in the store, and be as cool as Apple. If your business takes you places beyond the grid, you can still get paid. It will be interesting to see what new business ideas people come up with when they have an inexpensive way to take payments anywhere.

New one above, old below

January 7, 2011  – Someone from Square read this blog post (!) and sent me one of the newer readers. It is flatter and slighter wider with more curved edges, and is more white instead of cream. It does seem to swipe better. (I’m not considering it compensation because they send them out free to everyone ; )

But what would the initiative actually do? How would it affect small business?

Initiative 1098 would establish an income tax on amounts of income greater than $200,000 for single people, and $400,000 for married couples. It would reduce the state property tax by 20%, and increase the exemption amount from the Business and Occupation Tax for small businesses from $841 per year to $4,800.

It has been estimated that this increase in the small business credit will exempt 118,000 more businesses (an additional 37%) from paying the state B&O tax. (Seattle Times, September 19, 2010, Election 2010 ) This would result in a total of roughly 80% of small businesses in the state not having to pay Washington State Business and Occupation Tax. An additional 39,000 businesses would have a reduction in the amount of B&O taxes that they pay, and the 24,000 highest-grossing businesses in the state would continue to pay the full amount.

The state would pay for the reduction in the property tax rate and the increased small business credit by taxing income above $200,000 for single people, and $400,000 for married couples.

What will count as taxable income? The taxable income amount will be figured using the Adjusted Gross Income amount from the federal tax return, minus any interest from US securities such as savings bonds. Only people with AGIs of over $200,000 for single people or $400,000 for married couples on their federal tax returns will have to file.

Interestingly, the initiative also puts a size limit on the state tax return form – it can be no more than 2 pages long.

How much would people with AGIs over the income limit have to pay?

Single people would pay 5% of the amount of taxable income that is above $200,000, and 9% of any amount over $500,000.

Married couples would pay 5% of the amount of taxable income that is above $400,000, and 9% of any amount over $1,000,000.

The Economic Opportunity Institute has a tax calculator on their website that shows how much your total tax burden would change under the proposed law.

http://www.eoionline.org/tax_reform/calculator.htm

So what’s the state planning to do with this money?

First, they will replace the lost revenue from the property tax cut and the B&O tax credit. Any money left over would go to a trust fund, 70% to be used for education, and 30% to funding the state’s basic health plan.

The initiative also includes a provision requiring that a monthly accounting of how the funds were spent is to be posted on the state’s website. It would certainly be informative if the state did that for all the tax funds they spend.

Text of I-1098i1098-5

Illegal?

So if you make a lotion whose only ingredients are olive oil, cocoa butter, and lavender, you’d have to do thousands of dollars of testing before you’d be allowed to sell it. If you make another lotion with olive oil, cocoa butter, and almond oil, you’d need to do thousands of dollars more testing. Want to vary the formula to use shea butter instead of cocoa butter? More clinical tests for both the lavender and the almond version.

And what kind of labelling does this new law require? Here’s the label that you’d have to put on the aforementioned olive oil, cocoa butter and lavender lotion:

Ingredients:

Olive Oil (Tri-Glycerides of Palmitic, Di-Glycerides of Palmitic, Palmitoleic, Stearic, Oleic, Linoleic, Arachidic Acid, Linolenic Acid, Squalene, Beta Carotene, Campesterol, Methylenecholesterol, Stigmasterol, Sitosterol, Fucosterol, 28-Isofucosterol, Stigmadienol, Brassicasterol, 7-Cholestenol,Ergostadienol, Avenasterol, Triterpene Alcohols, Tirucallol, Taraxerol, Dammaradienol Beta-Amyrin Germanicol, Butyrospermol, Parkeol, Cycloartenol, Tirucalladienol, 24-Methlene 24-Dihydroparkeol, 24-Methlenecycloartanol, Cyclobranol, 4-Methyl Sterols, Esters of Tyrosol, Esters of Hydroxytyrosol, Vitamin E (Tocopherols), Carotenoids, Oleuropein)

Cocoa Butter (Tri and Diglycerides of Stearic Acid, Palmitic Acid, Lead, Oleic Acid, Linoleic Acid, Isoleic Acid, Beta Carotene, p-Hydroxybenzoic Acid, Vanillic Acid, Ferulic Acid, Syringic Acid, Phenylehtylamine, Theophylline, Aliphatic Esters, Aromatic Carbonyls, Caffeine, Theobromine, Diketopiperazines and Alkylpryazines)

Lavender Essential Oil ( Cineole Octanol, Octanone, Alpha Bisabolol, Alpha Cadinol, Alpha Humelene, Alpha Phellandrene, Apha Pinene, Alpha Terpinene, Alpha Terpineol, Alpha Terpinyl Acetate, Alpha Thujene, Alpha Thujone, Beta Bisabolol, Beta Pinene, Beta Thujone, Borneol, Bornyl Acetate, Camphene Camphor, Cineolealpha Terpineol, Carvone, Caryophyllene, Carophyllene Oxide, CIS Alpha Terpineol, CIS Alpha Bisabolene, CIS Carveol, CIA Linalol Epoxide, CIS Ocimene, Citronellal, Citronellol, Coumarine, Cuminaldehyde, Eugenol, Furfural, Geraniol, Geranyl Acetate, Geranyl Butyrate, Hexanol, Hexyl Tiglate, Isoborneol, Lavandulol, Lavandulyl Acetate, Limonene, Linanlol, Linalyl Acetate, Methyl Heptenone, Myrcene, Nerol, Neryl Acetate, Oleanolic Acid, P Cymene, Rosemarinic Acid, Sabinen, Terpinenol, Terpinolene, Trans Carveol, Trans Epoxy Linalyl Acetate, Trans Linanol Epoxide, Trans Ocimene, Ursolic Acid)

With these regulations in place, would Ballard Organics been able to make their wonderfully successful products (which I love ; )? What about all the great vendors at the Ballard Sunday Market, like Brown Butterfly? And I would no longer be able to get my favorite eyeshadow from Shiro on Etsy. (There are 84,241 items in the Bath and Beauty section on Etsy – all gone if this bill passes!)

Please consider signing the petition at the Oppose SCA website. or getting in touch with your representative about this bill. It would do nothing but drive small independent health product makers out of business.

We started at Aster Lounge. Their special was happy hour prices for beer all evening. We’re getting a bit old for this sort of thing, and wanted to pace ourselves, so we started with coffee instead. Aster has a Clover coffee machine, one of the few sold before Starbucks bought the company that makes them. It does make quite an excellent cup of coffee. We’ll have to come back some Saturday morning and try the waffles.

We headed down the street to the Market Arms. It’s owned by the same guy who owns the classic George and Dragon pub in Fremont, where I used to go to watch football matches on telly before we got cable. Market Arms is larger, with a nice outdoor seating area, and plenty of big screens, although there’s no football on tonight. It has a similar British menu, with fish & chips, bacon sandwich, and a full English breakfast. (Don’t laugh – an evening match in England is in the morning here, and tea with fried things makes a nice accompaniment.) Still pacing ourselves, we just got an appetizer of popcorn chicken with chutney. The chicken was very lightly breaded, and tasty, washed down with a pint of Newcastle. Warning – the word “pint” in your order will get you a full 20 ounce Imperial pint. If you want the skimpier American version you have to specify “American pint”.

Next, we headed kitty-corner across the street to La Isla. I used to work for a boss who hailed from Puerto Rico, and he would occasionally take us to lunch here and tell us what comida deliciosa to order. The comida is still deliciosa, and they’ve expanded the space so more people can enjoy it.  We sat outside, and ordered the Medley de Platanos; fried sweet plantain chunks and patties of mashed green plantain with a savory creamy dipping sauce and an awesomely garlic dipping sauce. I mean, this is SERIOUS garlic – if one person eats it everybody should! We went on to the Carne Frita, spice-marinated pork ribs falling-off-the bone tender, with fried onions, and Empanadillas, deliciously spiced ground beef in a pastry with yet another yummy sauce. We could have easily just hung out there all evening working our way through the appetizer menu, but this was supposed to be a pub crawl, so we crawled away and headed down Market to Ballard Avenue.

We were ambushed by D’Ambrosio Gelato. Although technically not a participant in the event, it looked too good to pass up. And it was oh my god incredible. This is not ice cream. It’s not even gelato as I’ve had it before. It’s what angels eat in heaven. They were really nice, offering sample tastes and explaining non-intuitive flavors like Bacia di Dama (chocolate almond). We had the Bacia di Dama, Florentine (fresh berries, cream and chocolate chips) and stracciatella (vanilla with chocolate flakes). I want to go back and have the Nutella, and the strawberry sorbet, and the lemon sorbet, and the Caffe Scuro… you know, I just want to sell everything and go live there and do nothing but eat their gelato for the rest of my life.

We were at this point stuffed full, and we still had at least one more place to visit – it doesn’t count unless you get your card stamped at four places. So we walked around, and looked at places. Bastille looked good, but we were TOO FULL. I’ve been wanting to try The Noble Fir, but we weren’t the only ones that were full – they were packed to bursting, so we’ll come back another night.

We walked around some more, not getting any less full, and then I had a brain wave. Cupcake Royale is a participant! We could buy cupcakes and bring them home and eat them later when we got hungry again! Am I a genius or what? Cupcake Royale had a special on half-dozens, so we got two of my fav orange ones, two fresh strawberry, and two classic vanilla with chocolate.

We didn’t get a chance to try even half the places, what with being old and having jobs to go to in the morning and all, so I hope that the event was successful, and they’ll do more stuff like this. Ballard is fun!

Ballard High School Production of You Can't Take It With You

Ballard High School did the play “You Can’t Take It With You” in May. One of the characters, Grandpa Vanderhof (not my kid – my kid was the maid’s sharp-dressed boyfriend), has never paid any income tax, because he “doesn’t believe in it”.

The IRS quite naturally takes exception to this, and sends an agent out to see him.  The agent tries to explain to Grandpa that he has to pay income tax, and this is the response he gets:

“Grandpa: Well, what do I get for my money? If I go into Macy’s and buy something, there it is-I see it. What’s the Government give me?

Henderson: Why, the Government gives you everything. It protects you.

Grandpa: What from?

Henderson: Well… invasion. Foreigners that might come over here and take everything
you’ve got.

Grandpa: Oh I don’t think they’re goin to do that.

Henderson: If you didn’t pay an income tax, they would. How do you think the
Government keeps up the Army and Navy? All those battleships…

Grandpa: Last time we used battleships was in the Spanish-American War, and what did
we get out of it? Cuba-and we gave it back. I wouldn’t mind paying if it were something
sensible.”

That got me to thinking – what if we could tell the government how we wanted our little share of the largesse spent? There are 46 pages worth of tax forms listed on the IRS website.

Surely there’s room for one more?

It could be quite simple -just mark the percentage you’d like to spend on each government department. Warhawks could send theirs to the DoD, and bleeding-hearts could support DHHS.  Science geeks could choose research, and Farmville fans could go for the Department of Agriculture ; )

Wouldn’t be even more fun to pick the exact budget line items? If you could vote with your tax dollars to buy part of a F-35 Lightning, or a Mars Rover? Fund AIDS prevention in Africa, or art in the schools!

Most people file online, and online survey technology should be up to the task. Congress would never allow real decision-making power for anything like this, but I’d be curious to see what a taxpayer-chosen budget would look like.

One thing’s for sure – there wouldn’t be any money for the IRS!

He is an African pygmy hedgehog and is unbelievably cute.